Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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