Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
