So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
