Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
