is wine microwaveable?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.