do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
