I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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