my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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