Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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