I think my vagina is haunted
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
