I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize