Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My balls are so social today.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize