I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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