I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize