She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
