Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
