Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
this hospital has no fireball
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
