I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My underwear smells like fireworks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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