there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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