do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
