i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
