I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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