Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize