community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Someone signed my nipple.
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