I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
