hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she smelled like a LAN party
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found the puke drawer
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
