Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
