I seem to have left my pride at pride
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
