somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
