As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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