Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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