Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
