Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I supernannyed him into submission
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
