just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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