I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize