Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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