nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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