Her vagina should come with caution tape.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
