She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
