hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
