Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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