I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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