Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He felt like a one man threesome
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
