She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
