i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need a beard to bite.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
