What did we do last night that was yellow?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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