you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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