you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I need a burrito and a hug.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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