someone get that fucking seahorse.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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