lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
