I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
