dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
