READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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