you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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