I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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