I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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