Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
