he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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