She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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