we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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